I think every person has a story behind their smile. A story of failure, rejection, disappointment, self-doubt, or simply a phase when nothing seemed to make sense. But what matters is not what happened to us, but what we choose to do after it.
Almost everyone has gone through some kind of failure or rejection. We have doubted ourselves, felt disappointed, and at some point, we have all been hurt by something or someone. Sometimes, the people we never expected to hurt us are the ones who hurt us the most.
But have we accepted all of it?
Have we decided that this is how our whole life is going to be? Have we stopped trying to come out of it? Have we spent our whole life thinking about that one failure, one rejection, or one difficult phase?
The answer is no, right?
So, whenever we talk about our setbacks, failures, rejections, or disappointments, I feel that we should also talk about what they teach us. Maybe when we are going through a difficult time, we don't understand it. At that moment, we are mostly thinking about “Why is this happening to me?” But later, when we look back, we realise that those experiences taught us something.
I have faced difficulties in my past too. I have faced judgement, even from my own people. I have heard things about my face and my character. I have heard words that hurt me, and yes, I have also believed some of those words at times.
There were moments when I thought, “Maybe they are right. Maybe I can't do anything.”
Sometimes I felt like giving up. Sometimes I thought, “Bas, ab bohot ho gaya.” There were times when I didn't understand what was happening to me or whether the decisions, I was making were right. I kept questioning myself and thinking about whether I was doing the right thing.
But did I finally accept all those things as my truth?
No, I didn't. Instead, I took a lesson from them.
I understood that people can judge you however they want and they can treat you in whatever way they choose, but you don't have to make their words your identity. No matter how difficult things become, you should not give up on yourself.
And I'm not saying that I was always positive or strong. I wasn't. There were days when I genuinely felt that I couldn't do it. But I kept trying. Slowly, I started understanding that sometimes we make things harder for ourselves by thinking too much. We keep asking ourselves whether our decisions are right, whether people are right about us, and whether we are capable enough.
At some point, we also have to trust ourselves. Taking someone's advice is not wrong. But at the end of the day, you have to understand what you want and make your own decision. And whatever you choose, it should be the right and ethical way.
In my case, I wanted to make myself capable. I wanted to work hard so that I could show myself that I was not what people had said about me. Some people had told me that I couldn't do anything, that I was ugly, or that I wasn't good enough. Those words hurt me, but they also gave me a reason to work harder.
Today, when I look back, I realise that I didn't reach where I am by having an easy journey. I left my home and came so far to study and build my future. It wasn't easy for me to reach here. There were many moments of doubt, confusion, and fear, but I still continued.
And honestly, there are so many things that happened to me that I have already forgotten. But I remember what those experiences taught me. They taught me that failure doesn't mean we are failures.
As a student, I have realised that setbacks are not always about failing an exam or getting a low score. Sometimes they are about not getting the opportunity we wanted, being compared with others, choosing something wrong, or simply feeling that we are not good enough. These moments can affect us but they can also teach us how to understand ourselves and keep moving.
A bad result doesn't mean a student is incapable. A rejection doesn't mean we are not good enough. A difficult phase doesn't mean our whole life will remain difficult. Sometimes, we just need to stop, think about what happened, learn from it, and try again.
I think that is what resilience really means. It doesn't mean that we never feel hurt or never want to give up. It means that even when we feel like giving up, some part of us still decides to try one more time.
As students, we are still learning. Not just our subjects, but also how to deal with failure, criticism, pressure, confusion, and our own doubts. We won't always get everything right. And that's okay. What matters is that we don't stop believing in ourselves because of one difficult experience.
The biggest thing I have learned from everything I have been through is very simple:
“Always think positively about yourself”.
People may say whatever they want about you. They may judge you, underestimate you, or make you feel like you can't do something. But you don't have to accept their negativity as your reality.
You know yourself better than anyone else.
So keep learning, keep improving, and keep trying. You don't have to prove yourself to everyone. Sometimes, you just need to keep going until you can look at yourself and say, “I didn't give up on me.”
Because a setback is not the end of your story. Sometimes, it is simply the part of your story that teaches you how to become stronger.
Published as part of V Devi Foundation’s From Setback to Strength Article Writing Competition 2026. The reflections and experiences expressed are those of the author.